Friendship ? Friends ?

recently i feel left out .

Friendship ? actually, what is Friendship ?
Friendship is just word to me now. nothing special about it.
Friends ? when got problem only come find me. when having fun, do they come to me ?
is this the meaning of Friendship ?
i just don't understand.

i HATE you !

you both can just die and go to hell !!!! i really hate you guys !!!!
i really wish you guys aren't my parents !!!!
i rather go beg for food, i also won't ask from both of you !!!!
last time you guys keep saying love me love me, it was all just a fucking lie !!!!
LOVE ?! you guys want me to respect you guys ?! you guys tell me !
how you guys want me respect you guys ?! you guys don't even deserve it !
especially you ( dad ) i don't know why the hell you still got the face to ask me respect you ?!
you just yourself ! do you deserve it ?! i didn't ask for respect from you ! so... you can keep it !!!!
mom...i can understand you, but not this time. because you just do what he says, i ask you.
are you a DOG or my MOM ? this you think for yourself. i don't want to say anything already.

parents

i don't know what should i do. i'm so lost.
they keep asking me go back school, but... when i ask for money.
they wont even care or pick up my calls.
are they forcing me to get a job ?
this is how they talk when i want money from them.

' Brandon : mom can you give me some money to catch a movie ?
Mom : im LIM, your KHOO, go get money from your dad. '

' Brandon : hey dad, can you give me some money to genting ?
Dad : im meeting now, call you back later.

i waited for almost 3 hours. i was getting so un-patient, so...i called him back.

' Brandon : dad, you still in meeting ?
Dad : erm... i'll call you back later. '

at the end, he still did call back.
but...who can blame them ? their money, not mine.
they do this because they don't care ?
what should i do now ? just be on my own ?
can anybody help ?
='(

suemay's sweet 16

we were playing true of dare












suemay's cake












lighting up the candle's












LOL -.-'












finale =)





we left Pj around 7pm and ahead to suemay's party. but....we got lost. -.-'
we keep finding finding and finding, finally we found her house.
guess what time was it...' 9pm ' LOL ! ! !
when we reach there, saw all of them staying away from the pool. ' what the hell ? '
so...i got near the pool, and kena push down. -.-'
i was so damn pissed and all of them keep laughing there.
they even have water balloon, it was so freaking PAIN.
but...at the end i still had fun.
thanks suemay, for inviting me and HAPPY SWEET 16
=)

yesterday i came back aroun 3.30am. my mom was like very angry.
she keep scolding scolding and scolding. she did scold me something
that really hurt me. so...i was just crying, until i fall asleep.
actually, i know why she scolded me and i don't blame her.
what parents can accept a son like me ?
i'm just giving me mom trouble, what's the point of having me as a son ?
if i have a knife now. i would just stab myself.
then all my mom's problem will go away.

A day in Genting

what the hell loongs ?! ==''

















can spot me ? =)



















i love this pic the most xD


i woke up at 7.ooam and meet up with pured, we had breakfast.
then we rush to taman jaya to meet the others.
jos said 9.00am sharp, but foochok was late. 'As Usual'
we waited for jingyi for 1 hour. but in the end she said ' meet you guys up there. ==''
then we rush to genting, when we reach there, it was already 1.30pm. ==''''''
after everything, we meet up with wearniee and katherine.
i was so damn tired after the whole day. but... i still had FUN.
=)

a Fool

Baby, i know the story, i've seen the pictures, it's written all over your face.
tell me, what's the secret that you've been hidding, and who's gonna take my place.
Baby, you should've call me when you were lonely, when you needed me me to be there.
sadly, you never gave me too many chances, to show how much i care.
i should have seen it coming, i should have read the signs.
Anyway...i guess it's over.
Can't believe that i'm the fool again, i thought this love would never end.
how was i too know, you never told me about the pain and the tears.


if i could, i would...turn back the time. =')

the right choice

can anyone help me ? should i go back to school ?
i cant make the right choice !
someone help me !
damn stress !

=(

i really dont know where to start, a lot's been going on.
first i stoped school, second working at bukit jalil (shisha)...but i still dont know what to do

you guys don't have to say anything, i know what im doing. don't worry.
im really happy that you guys always there for me when i got problems.
i really don't know what i'll do without you guys.
i love you guys and thanks.

i'll think about what you guys said to me.
=)

ying =)



















amanda =)



















lady's man =)















alex and nick GAY
















the view is so ROMANTIC =D

just let the picture's do the talking , lazy to go in details

miss you

go ahead just leave, can't hold you, you're free.
you take all these things, if they mean so much to you.
i gave you everything, cause you meant the world to me, did i deserve to be left here hurting ?
you think i don't know ? you're out of control, i ended up finding out all of this from my boys.
girl, you're stone cold, you say it ain't so.
what did i do but give my love to you, i'm just so confused as i'm thinking of you.
from head to feet, all that's not me, you think that you know, how could you believe them over me ?

i uesd to call you my girl
i used to call you my friend
i used to call you the love, the love that i never had.
can't you see how i feel ?
can't you see my pain is so real ?
when will i see you again ?

有緣沒有份

誰把誰真的當真 ?
誰為誰心疼 ?
誰是唯一誰的人 ?

have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry ?
have you ever tried to find the words. but they don't come out right ?
have you ever found the one you've dreamed of all your life ?
you'd do just about anything to look into their eyes.
have you finally found the one you've given your heart to ?
but only to find the one won't give their heart to you.
have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there ?
but all you can do is wait for the day that they will care.
what good is a photograph if your not in the other half.
why even dream if i'm not dreaming about you.

baby, its you <3

you've been away from me over a month. but...i still can't forget you.
i did a lot of crazy stuff to hurt myself, why ?

Hansher: she's not worth it, just forget about her. she is just a girl .
when are you only going to wake up brandon !

Brandon: i don't fucking care what you say, i told you before.
i really love her, whether you guys like it or not !

i don't care what other people thinks, i just follow my heart =)

oh yeah...i almost forgot, recently i found out that my lungs got problems,
its so damn pain . going to for check up next week. 'AGAIN' haizz... =(


i love you <3

meet up with loongs and the other's, went to bukit jalil for shisha...after shisha,
me and loongs went to cc, it was so damn boring. around 2.30am, i meet up with
some of my friends then we went clubbing ! only the clubbing part was fun. =='

dao-er called me yesterday night, and told me a lot of stuff . i was so f***king
shocked.

my night

yesterday night was a blast ! when nathan's for shisha, but mutt's doesn't work there anymore. 'sad'
so...there's not going to be shisha anymore in nathan's then we decided to go bukit jalil. almost half
the people from nathan's went there . LOL ! the shisha at bukit jalil was kinda awesome.
the shisha guy,he was mutt's romemate and best friend. who knew ? haha...
around 2am we all went for clubbing at K.L, i was so blur, i can't even remember the name of the place.
came back seri petaling around 7.30am and went for breakfast. after breakfast all went home sleeping .
yesterday was so damn f***king FUN !

why do you do this to me ?

woke up at 8.00am this morning, reach school around 9.30am. sleep tru all the classes until school is over,
reached home around 1.15pm, went for tuition at 2.30pm, i slept at tuition also, and came back home at 4.00pm.
went online for a while, after online-ing went to bed and sleep again.
lately, i notice that i've been sleeping a lot and going out a lot during the night.
maybe im just trying to run away from the pain ? or maybe i just don't want to think about the times we spent ?
i know your love to me is gone, but did it ever started ? but my love to you has never change not even for a second.
you taken my heart, then now you want me to just let go ? i fallen in love with you, you thought i could just let go ?
now... i don't even have a heart left for you to crush anymore.



:'(

is my fate sealed ?

yesterday and today was my exam ! i can't even focus on the stupid paper's.
keep having a lot of stupid flashback's.
so...these 2 days, i just slept until school's over.
yesterday didn't even sleep. stayed up all night wondering.
should i let go ? should i forget ? can i really do it ? i really just want to SCREAM ! ! !
but...to tell the truth, i should have held on tight, i never should have let you go.
i didn't know nothing, i was stupid i was foolish. i was lying to myself.
never imagined i'd be sitting here beside myself.
cause i didn't know you, you didn' know me. but i thought i knew everything.
when you left i lost a part of me, it's so hard to believe.
i can't sleep at night, when you are on my mind.
in the radio i heard bobby womack's singing, ' if you think you're lonely now ' . wait a minute this is too deep.
i gotta change the station. so i, turn the dial trying to catch a break. and then i hear babyface, i only think of you,
and it's breaking my heart. i'm trying to keep it together, but i'm falling apart.
i'm feeling all out of my elements, throwing things, crying trying to figure out where the hell i went wrong.
the pain relfected in this song ain't even half of what i'm feeling inside.
who am im going to lean on when times get rough ? who else is gonna talk to me till the sun comes up ?
who is gonna take your place ? there ain't nobody better.i need you. i need you back in my life.

we really not going to be together anymore ? is my fate really sealed ?
at least...that i know you're happy . that's all i ever wanted. no matter your with me or with some other guy.
just be happy.

love

i dont know why am i feeling this way. i never felt this way about anyone before.
your the first girl that i really fall in loved with. but... :'(
i can't get you off my mine.i cried every night before i sleep, it really hurts.
i would do anything and give anything to be
with you again. i know its not possible. but... i'll still hope you'll give me
another chance to show you how much i love you.

spring time in the city. Always such relief from the winter freeze. The snow was more lonely
than cold.

so, maybe i shouldn't have called. was it too soon to tell ?
oh what the hell, its doesn't really matter. how do you redefine something
that never really had a name ?
i know i let you down again and again.
i know i never really treated you right.
i've paid the price and im still paying for it every day.
we don't talk much anymore.
i keep running from the pain and these sentencese.
but what i wouldn't give to see your face again.

:'(

Lonely

Baby won't you tell me why,
there is sadness in your eyes.
you were never satisfied no matter how i tried.
you're the one who sat it up, now you're the one to make it stop.
i'm the on who is feeling lost right now.
now you want me to forget every little thing you said ?
i'm sitting here all alnoe in the middle of nowhere.
don't know which way to go.
i should try and forget.
but there is something left in my heart.
the feeling's so strong it won't go away.
im not the guy missing in your heart.
that's why you go away and left me...

went nathan's again ! LOL !
LIFELESS
fetch yoonteng back at 11.40pm, after that...
me and munloong went back to nathan's again .
i really got a lot of stuff to talk to munloong. maybe im turning GAY.haha...
after yamcha i went munloong's place to overnight.
i was crying the whole night.because of what she said.
:'(

i really missed the moment we spent together

my life is meaningless

went nathan's with loongs,foochok,hansher,,jingyi and few more lifeless dogs.LOL !
after yamcha and shisha. i went back to seri petaling.
i reach seri petaling at 12.30am. was so damn f***king tired, but aaron and the other's
wanted to go cc. so... i was like anything lar. they wanted to play for like 5 hours.
when i on my msn, i was shock. because i saw her msg and she wanted to break up
with me =(




you really thought i can do better on my own ?
why'd you had to leave me ?
i really thought we could have been more then this. but ...
i just hope you can find someone better.
but i still hope you'd give me another chance.

'sadness'